Grace abounds through the Hero

Guest House, Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)20190813_162923
This being human is a guest house Every morning a new arrival.
A Joy, a depression, a meaness  some momentary awareness.
come as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.  Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

 

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Elizabeth at a local garden in a park

Rumi was a 13th Century Poet Mystic, Sufi from the are that is now Afghanistan and Turkey.  His poetry, and mystical Sufi oral poems still live on in the 21st Century.  The Truth is Known immediately as the Truth.  Truth is closely linked to  Grace.  Truth and Grace are attributes of Love with a capital L.

This Brokenheartedness that I experienced is not for the faint hearted.  It is truly a walk through the Valley of Death.  It is the Dying into oneself.  It is the Heroic Journey to be emptied.  And in that moment to see it as an invitation to Rise from the ashes like a Phoenix.  Graces abounds through the Hero.

The Journey is painful, incredibly so.. so  painful that I felt as if I was being broken open and emptied of all that I Loved.  It is a process of  feeling and letting go and accepting… the Grief is staggering, it weighs you down to a sobbing heap upon the floor.  This is where I was presented with an insight.  Be the Hero of my own story. Grace Abounds through the Hero.

The one that I held most dear chose to cease to be in relationship with me.  This beloved, withdraw his Love.

It is true, Heartbrokenness is a real physical and mental and emotional and spiritual Experience.  It is the Grieving of someone while they are still living and living without you.

I will be quite frank and honest, I did not Grieve with gracefulness.  My weeping was heart-wrenching and ugly.  I was not humble and passive.  I actively Grieved in all the stages including Anger.

I am a Human woman.  I can be Saintly but I am not a Saint.  I swear.  I was angry.  I was bereft.  I was in anguish.  I was very very sad.

— I am my own Hero.  Every Hero descends into darkness, consumed and then like the Phoenix Rises again remade and stronger.

My journey begins around April of 2017.  The tendrils of something is not right, something is changing is first intuitively detected by my Heart.  I deny my Heart’s Wisdom and chalk it up to stress.

July 2017  It is made known to me by the one I Loved no longer wished to continue as I was accustomed to.  It was a very traumatic experience for me.

The rest of the year 2017 I try to ‘”save” my marriage.   Be assured there is no “saving” a marriage.  This covenant held sacred by me, is easily breached by the profane. I could not help myself but to do so.  This is the place called bargaining with fate.  Fate always wins.  Every Hero tries and fails.  This is a time of great travail.  At this moment one has to choose to be a Hero or to descend.  I chose to be the Hero of my own story.

The word that best describes April 2017- June 2018 would be Denial .  Acceptance was a bit of a process for me.  Letting go was hard, so very challenging, so very fraught and painful.  I discovered I had a gift for Denial.  Awareness is key.  Fairy Farm Girl assisted me in seeing, in understanding I was in denial.  She assisted me in coining the phrase “My husband is no more here.

In January 2018 we were in a flood.  This was traumatic for my children.  The results of the Flood really brought home the Wisdom given years earlier— Move to Higher Ground at least 100 ft above Sea Level.  This wisdom is not to be trifled with.  Climate Change is real.  And Real People every where are being displaced.  I was very blessed to have so many people come to me and my children’s assistance– I asked heartily to the Universe for Assistance– Gratitude from my Heart to yours.  I live in NH.  I was displaced by flooding.  Think about that— now think about all the Refugees all around the world.  The Great Waves of Change are upon us all– How will you help? For in time, it will be visited upon you– even in your place of wealth that will not save you from being affected.

This became a prayer that assisted me in accepting my Husband chose to divorce me to go– to leave– to start whatever journey he felt he had to go on without me, without his children.  My Husband is no more here.   He is very much still alive, breathing and doing whatever it is that he has chosen to do.   My Husband is no more here.  Grace abounds through the Hero.

The Grieving Process takes time.  I am still grieving but no longer in what is called Active Grief.

My Heroic Journey required me to Grieve my life and simultaneously Create and Build a new life.  I was a stay home mother in my every day life until October of 2017.  Life events that unfolded rapidly catapulted me back into the working world.  I was still married but very much a single working mother with 3 children.  Thank Goodness for so many people who came to my assistance.  This is another part of the Heroic Journey— it is interdependent, help shows up if you ask the right question to the right people at the right time.  So Right, yep.   I asked for help with Humility.  It was granted to me by communities of people.  I am still deeply grateful and thankful for their assistance.  I truly would not have made it through without their help.

Humility is a big part of the Heroic Journey.  Gratitude is a Key. Grace abounds through the Hero.

Rumi spoke about this Brokenheartedness.  He composed poems spoken by Sufi for centuries before someone transcribed the Oral Poetry.

As the Hero of my own Story, the rapid through-ness I can attribute to Grace and feeling my feelings.  I fell down, my children witnessed me, and then I got back up. Grace abounds through the hero.

The Buoyancy that kept me afloat and allowed me to rise again from the ashes like a Phoenix, is GRACE.  GRACE.  Oh Holy GRACE.

Music really assisted me in relaxing into my new created Life.   I started going to see live local music.  This really assisted me in deepening my connection to the new life that I created for me and my children.  Creation happens interdependently.  I called forth the new life pattern creation– and built upon it— with lots of help from many sources– people, Spirit, The Fairy Realm, Goddess, God and Mother Earth Gaia.  I could not have created without Gratitude, Humility, Grace, Love, Truth, Welcoming, Accepting and Blessings.  Creating is a Big Subject that is so complex and diverse and it is mostly intuited and emoted– not quantifiable.

I am so Happy and Grateful now that….   Grace and Gratitude is a powerful practice.

Gardening is another practice that has greatly assisted me.  I moved from an area that had no yard (I created a hay bale raised bed and a container garden in my tiny driveway at the old shack)

When my children and I moved to our new town and new house– it came with a yard.  It was winter when we moved in.  I spent most of my time when
I was not grieving planning out new gardens.

In the Spring 2018, I got to working the soil in my little yards.  I planted and created and planned.  I started seeds and transplanted.  I communed and blessed and was with the Earth.  And from my work, Gardens are springing forth from the dirt of the Earth.  Beauty heals the soul.

The first spring and summer was very dry and we inherited some problems.  I remedied those problems by planting lots of white and red clover, ceasing all pesticide and herbicide use and communicating with the trees, the Earth, the birds and animals and insects.  I spent time observing the wildness I was cultivating in my yard.  I called out welcoming the Bees, the Birds, the Beneficial Insects.  The first year so many wild bees showed up in my yard.  The trees sighed with quiet joy.  And I planted lots of herbs.  I planted oregano, thyme, mint and chives.  I planted marigold and scented geraniums.  I planted bee balm, and lemon balm and Lily bulbs, Roses and Yarrow.

I sang to the Bees and Birds.  I called them to my Garden with my song.  I sang to the Butterfly and Ladybug.  I called them to my garden.  I sang to the firefly.   I called them to my garden. I sang to the tree frogs.   I called them to the garden.  I called to the Hummingbirds.  I called to the Dragonfly.  I called to the Beneficial Animals.  And they all showed up in my garden. I created space to collect water.  And the toads showed up.  Diversity is Strength.  All parts create the whole.

flower of life

Flower of Life

I made a compost pile.  Everything that was compostable went into the pile.  I used all that compost on my little vegetable bed this spring!

I learned that my yard is shady and dry.  There are a lot of trees shading the land.  Glorious big trees The task then became to create gardens that retained water with plants that love the dappled sunlight.

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Lasagna Pallet Garden

A Lasagna Pallet Garden was my answer to my meditative prayer- communication.  My son brought home pallets.  I had plenty of leaves and lots of used hay from our Guinea Pigs– and 10 bags of organic topsoil.   My Beloved Friend and I created a pallet lasagna garden.  The new soil is moist.  The Trees are so happy.  The plants I planted in the raised bed are doing well.  It is a success!

The Ritual Symbolism of the Garden heals the Mind, the Heart, the Body and the Soul.

I planted 3 Rose Gardens.  I planted Hosta Gardens.  I planted a Lasagna Garden.  I made a vegetable bed garden. I planted Lily Gardens.  I planted Bee Balm Gardens.  I planted Rose of Sharon and more!

Each Garden, as I worked the dirt and added in compost and sang to the Earth, the plants, the insects, the birds– The Realms of Flora and the Realms of Fauna— each time I was in the garden– I unburdened my Grief.  I transformed this Heroic Process into Beauty.

20190813_151756Today, I picked a bouquet of flowers from my gardens.  The bouquet is made of a Lily I transplanted from an Easter Lily given to me in March 2018 after the Easter Service.  The Crucifixion I see as an allegorical tale– about dying unto oneself to be resurrected (or to rise again) made anew– and sometimes you are completely unrecognizable to those who know you as a certain way.  This Lily did not come up last year.  This year, I rediscovered it– in a place that I had planted it! I was delighted that it was there in all its Graceful Glory.  I added in a Flower of Bee Balm, a Yellow and Orange Day Lily and a flower of Chive.

Red Bee Balm symbolizes prosperity, protection and fruition of creativity.  Orange and  Yellow Day Lily symbolizes Confidence, Gratitude, Enjoyment and wealth. White Easter Lily symbolizes new life and hope. Purple-Violet Chives symbolizes usefulness, cheerfulness, clarity.

My children and I saved each other during this Heroic Journey we each went through.  They are the Flowers of my Life.  Each is symbolized by Roses, Lilies and Yarrow.  The constant of my days is the Joy that my children create in my life.  I am deeply honored they chose me as their mother.  I show up.  I do my best.  and I am deeply rewarded watching this garden grow and mature and expand.

Fairy Farm GirlFairy Farm Girl 

Let you be Blessed with Love.  The Holy Spirit Flows through each of you, every Human on Earth.  The Flow of The Holy Spirit is available to guide Humankind as each one individually and collectively chooses to Love More.   Be Love as an action– what would a Loving Response to the world around you be?  If not you, than who, my dear ones.  Who will Love More if not you.  Each of you are here now for your Giftedness.  It is your choice to use your Giftedness in service to Humankind and your Earth Home.

There are many who call for assistance.  How will each of you individually and grouping together respond?  Will you Love More?

The Human Body is perfect in its design.  There are many who profit from deceiving those who are just Awakening into Augmentation.  Ask yourself, is this Loving More?  Will this create More Love?  AI Augmentation is terminating path.  It goes to a place that does not continue.  It can not for it is not Love.  Love More and Expect Miracles.

Augmentation for the ease of consuming– Ask is this Loving More?  Will this create Miracles through Love?  Will the products bring you more Love?

The Abundance of  Mother Earth-Gaia is demonstrated all around you.  Be the Change you seek.  Co-Create with Nature, the Abundance and Diversity of this Abundance is what makes Nature so resilient, so strong and so dynamic.   Ask is chemical Augmentation Loving More?  Will this Create Miracles?

Each of you must Emancipate yourself and at the same time you Emancipate Each other.  Simultaneously, Mutual Cooperation occurs.  This is a great Gift from the Holy Spirit.  For with this Emancipation of all Humans and Mutual Cooperation new ways of responding to the Great Waves of Change will be created through each of you.  You are Children of God(dess).  You are all the Chosen Ones, every one of you are chosen. Do you chose to be chosen?  Love More and Expect Miracles.  I bless you with Love.  –-Fairy Farm Girl

An Invitation for Wildness

4th of July Kingston Lake 2

A very fine day the view up through the trees at the Lake

About Fairy Farm Girl

Fairy Farm Girl Digest is about Expanding Awareness. Fairy Farm Girl offers Meditations, Tarot Readings and Spiritual Coaching and Lifestyle Advice.
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1 Response to Grace abounds through the Hero

  1. John Goforth says:

    “Love More and Expect Miracles” Just so. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your journey, and thank you for the excellent reminder, Fairy Farm Girl!
    With Gratitude, with Appreciation, with Love,
    Bodhi John Goforth 🌟😊💖

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